The countdown for Xmas is on again Are you bracing or embracing the festive season?

This was a blog I wrote a few years ago but have decided to send out again in an edited version as it’s just so pertinent still. As we come to the end of another challenging year (multiple wars, elections and just down righty negativity) how are you approaching Xmas? Are you embracing it or bracing yourself for it?

 Xmas and the end of the year is typically a tiring part of the year. It may have been a while since you had a holiday as you may be saving leave for summer.  You might have work deadlines to meet (why does everything have to be completed before Xmas? Really!?), as well as shopping, gift buying or making, Xmas functions or gatherings. And if you are hosting Xmas day itself gathering and preparing food for the masses. After a difficult year many of us are already feeling tired this year and now adding to that exhaustion with Xmas preparation.

There are different ways to approach this end of the year. We can brace for it or embrace it. Bracing can be seen as “propping” and the opposite is “collapse”.

 Propping can look and/or feel like:

·       bracing ourselves,

·       hardening to gravity,

·       using more effort than is needed,

·       creating a rigidity in structure (our bodies) which is reflected in our breath and minds

·       going into a state of protection and defense

We “prop” our bodies and minds – all muscles tense (even the eyes) and typically have a racing mind. These patterns in the body are reflected in the mind as we tell ourselves “we can do this. We just have to get through xxxx (insert whatever you need to get through) and then I can relax”.  The patterns in the mind are reflected in our bodies which may feel tight and constricted and with shallow breathing. We may experience tunnel vision to just get through it. And this approach can add to our exhaustion as our bodies and minds brace (or stay in the fight and flight adrenalin fuelled mode of our nervous system). And this takes a lot of effort – too much effort. It is an exhausting state to be in.

 Collapsing can look and/or feel like:

·       being overtaken or defeated by gravity,

·       Being unsupported,

·       lacking a sense of integrity,

·       can feel like “giving up”,

·       there is too much slack (may feel like no boundaries in relationships with others).

·       a lack of structure in bodies and breath and minds

·       going into a state of freeze, or making yourself invisible

The other approach is to embrace Xmas. To yield to Xmas. Yielding is a word from Body Mind Centering to express both giving and receiving, the balance between weight and levity.  It can be seen in the patterns of the body by a softening into the earth and gravity – having the right relationship with the earth.

Embracing can be seen as “Yielding” which is about being in relationship with.

This can mean being in relationship with:

·       the earth (underneath us),

·       space (in front, around, behind),

·       props that we use in yoga,

·       our bodies (noticing, naming and noting),

·       and of course, ourselves.

Yielding is not confined to our yoga mats, it also describes how we are in the world and with ourselves. We yield when we do yoga, when we are arriving into a new space, when we are in relationship with someone else.  

Yielding can look and/or feel like:

·       having the right relationship with gravity

·       using the “right effort”

·       being supported

·       finding comfort and ease in our bodies and breath and minds

But when we lose that relationship with, we can go into propping or collapsing.

And this yielding may be reflected by a body which lets out a sigh, lets some of that bracing soften, lets the shoulders drop away from the ears and deeper, more easeful breath.

We can then enter Xmas with a steadiness and ease and less effort, less exhaustion.  If you are curious about how this might feel, try this:

 Stand in tadasana (upright with a long spine, feet grounded to earth, arms loosely by your side. Now tense all your muscles your face and eyes, straighten your legs and arms as tight as you can. This is propping.

 Now let everything collapse. Use as least effort as possible, collapse in your centre, drop your neck, arms loose and floppy. This is collapse.

 Now try to find that place of yield in the middle – the place of right effort. Your spine is long but not excessively erect. Your feet are grounded into the earth and supported. You might feel the energy of your body go into the ground and then rebound back up to support you. You can move easily (as opposed to being in propping or collapsing).

 Now take the time to notice one signal that indicates that you have moved away from yielding and into propping or collapse eg your racing mind, tension in your body and you might practice that movement again to return to the yield and the ease and right effort. And we sometimes need to do that again and again. And that is the practice.

 As I have learnt this past 14 months on my cancer journey, life is far too short to not be at ease and to enjoy each Xmas as if it were your last, full of joy and love and yielding.

Meri Kirihimete

Sandra