A cancer retreat - is it possible?

In May I went on a weekend “cancer retreat” with Aratika Cancer Trust. As someone who has been used to attending yoga retreats, this did feel something of an oxymoron! Is it possible to retreat when focusing on cancer?

This retreat came at a time when I was ready to lean into my cancer diagnosis more. I received my diagnosis of stomach cancer in September 2022, so it was 8 months after this date. I had been combining standard oncological care (chemotherapy and targeted treatments) with integrative treatments during this time. But it was only because I had strong research background, I was able to do this so successfully. There are no clear pathways for following an integrative health journey in the cancer world.

Aratika Trust beckoned me to attend (via a FB ad) as they promoted an integrative health approach, the first I had seen publicly. This was the main element that called to me. Their logo has the words – Empowerment – Support- Prevention – for all those affected by the challenges of a cancer diagnosis.  Aratika means ‘the right path” in Te Reo Māori and the focus is on empowering individuals to find their own unique pathway through cancer or any life-challenging illness.

I was hesitant and unsure whether this was for me. Was I ready to spend a weekend with other people with cancer? The answer was yes. It had been a quite lonely journey since my diagnosis. Despite having loads of support around me, I had not found any local cancer support groups or people to talk to with cancer. I felt reassured after googling the trust that the facilitators and the Board itself consisted of people with lived experience of cancer, something important to me at this time. So, after speaking with the gorgeous and ever so welcoming manager Claire, I signed up!

I remember being so nervous driving down to Rotorua. Were there going to be people my age there? Would I get on with people? Would I get what I wanted from the weekend?

My weekend was the “intensive” weekend, Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon and held in Rotorua. I arrived in the pouring rain and the first person I saw was someone my age. Yay!

We were welcomed and settled into our rooms (either bunk rooms by yourself with shared bathroom or your own room with an ensuite) and we gathered at 4.15pm for a Welcoming Ceremony focused mainly on housekeeping etc. It was lovely to start meeting the other participants – there were 10 of us women living with cancer and one supportive male husband.

We met for a communal dinner at 6pm. Now,  the food deserves its own special mention. Each meal and snack were delicious and designed especially for those wanting to eat well for cancer – lots of salads, plant-based food, and sugar free treats. We ate SO well and such care was taken with the food.

At 6.45pm, we met back in the retreat room for the official introductions and sharing. This was an opportunity to share about yourself and your cancer journey to date. I cried listening to the variety of cancer journeys all these amazing women (and the support husband) had been on. I cried sharing my own story as there was something so powerful about sharing it to those with lived experience who understood.

It is only now a few months later that I have had time to contemplate why this sharing was so powerful. A cancer diagnosis feels like a form of trauma. The way we are told we have cancer, the treatments we have to endure, the suddenness in which it changes our lives. And trauma requires healing. These words from Yoga for Humankind resonated with me:

“True healing is not just about finding someone who sympathizes with our pain or offers quick solutions. Rather, it is about finding individuals who can genuinely witness our pain without judgment and provide compassionate presence. . . . . . . .

This is what I experienced at the retreat – others with cancer who witnessed my pain without judgement and provided that compassionate presence.

I was also reading an article from Thomas Hubl about individual vs collective healing. His article focused on the healing of collective traumas such as where ethical and human rights had been transgressed. But the same principles I feel apply to the trauma of cancer also.

Thomas Hubl believes that “individual healing is an integral part of collective healing” and that in “witnessing one another, we grow together”.

“Our individual healing is magnified when we share our vulnerabilities – our emotions, narrative, and experiences – in the presence of others. Our embodied witnessing enhances the healing power. “

And that is what we did on the cancer retreat. We gathered together and shared our stories in a “witnessing space” which was safe, warm, allowed us to be seen, restored our dignity and was a powerful experience to share. This is what I had been missing in my cancer journey to date.

And with that shared witnessing and sharing on the Friday night, we dived deep into the rest of the weekend, sharing laughter, tears and connection along the way.

We started the day with an optional 6am meditation (I never made it to that one!), a lemon juice at 7am followed by a led meditation at 7.15am. We had another opportunity to meditate at 5pm and gentle movement/gi jong during the day.

 Breakfast was at 9am. The day was then broken into workshops over the two days including workshops on:

·       What is cancer?

·       Meaning and Purpose – Radical Remission

·       Nutrition with a focus on the Metabolic approach to cancer nutrition

·       A docuseries after dinner on some Radical Remission stories

·       Death and dying with an encouragement to complete Advanced Care Planning (useful but confronting)

·       Gratitude and hope

These sessions were led warmly and compassionately by two facilitators, one of whom is an ordained Zen meditator.  We were in safe hands.

We had the final sharing circle before lunch on the Sunday. Oh, how this felt different from the opening circle less than 48 hours prior. There was a deep sense of connection to people, a deep sense of connection to myself and what I had learnt. I felt seen and heard in a way I hadn’t felt in my cancer journey to date – not a criticism of all the support I had been receiving but simply that support  of compassionate presence from people who understood.

Whilst we were all sad to be leaving, this was not the end. We would meet up over a zoom a few times to check in and see how we were going. Aratika Trust also offer live monthly meditations via zoom and Cancer Care Conversations focused on topics such as fasting, Vit C and Ozone treatments – all aspects of treatment that mainstream oncological cancer care fails to mention or even consider. I really appreciate these ongoing opportunities to connect in that integrated health space.

Do I have any regrets at attending this retreat? Not one. I feel so grateful to have had the opportunity to attend. I feel blessed at the connections I made and humbled to have had people witness my story as I felt privileged to witness theirs.

Highly recommended!

To read more

https://thomashuebl.com/our-world-is-rooted-in-collective-intimacy/

Yoga for Humankind https://yogaforhumankind.org/

Aratika Cancer Trust https://www.aratikatrust.co.nz/