How are you approaching Xmas? embracing it or bracing for it?
As we come to the end of a challenging year, how are you approaching Xmas? Are you embracing it or bracing yourself for it? Xmas and the end of the year is typically a tiring part of the year. It may have been a while since you had a holiday as you may be saving leave for summer. You might have work deadlines to meet (why does everything have to be completed before Xmas? Really!?), as well as shopping, gift buying or making, Xmas functions or gatherings. And if you are hosting Xmas day itself gathering and preparing food for the masses. After a difficult year and the longest lockdown ever for our family, friends and colleagues in Auckland, many of us are already feeling tired this year and now adding to that exhaustion with Xmas preparation.
There are two ways to approach this end of the year. We can brace for it or embrace it. You may recognise bracing – we grit our teeth, override our exhaustion, tense our bodies. These patterns in the body are reflected in the mind as we tell ourselves “we can do this. We just have to get through xxxx (insert whatever you need to get through) and then I can relax”. The patterns in the mind are reflected in our bodies which may feel tight and constricted and with shallow breathing. We may experience tunnel vision to just get through it. And this approach can add to our exhaustion as our bodies and minds brace (or stay in the fight and flight adrenalin fuelled mode of our nervous system). And this takes a lot of effort – too much effort.
The other approach is to embrace Xmas. To yield to Xmas. Yielding is a word from Body Mind Centering to express both giving and receiving, the balance between weight and levity. It can be seen in the patterns of the body by a softening into the earth and gravity – having the right relationship with the earth.
We are both supported and allowing ourselves to be supported. We can see it reflected in the patterns of the mind – allowing people to help us, asking for help even, by going with the flow, letting go of everything we need to do, letting go of perfectionism. And this yielding may be reflected by a body which lets out a sigh, lets some of that bracing soften, lets the shoulders drop away from the ears and deeper, more easeful breath.
We can then enter Xmas with a steadiness and ease and less effort, less exhaustion. If you are curious about how this might feel, try this. Think of one task or activity that you can let go of this Xmas - one that only you really care about achieving but does not matter to anyone else. Just one. Write it down and just let it go and don't do it. Notice how your body feels as you give yourself a break and choose to not do this one thing. What changes do you notice if any?
